Gene Colan: Hope Springs

Had an emotional visit with Gene tonight at his hospice. He'd been out for his fresh air already today so he was exhausted and remained in bed for the few hours that I stayed. We spoke of many things: life and death, death and life, career, family, friends, G-d...

"If I could change anything, I'd have put my whole soul into saving Adrienne. I would have moved mountains to save her. That's the only thing I would do different... The best moment of my life was meeting Adrienne in Tanament, Pennsylvania. She was so beautiful--I couldn't believe it. That was my best moment. She was a knockout...

"My career? The process of improvement is slow, but I knew that I had something to offer. And Stan [Lee] knew it, too. He gave me a great opportunity. He's a first-class businessman. And he saw things in me that I didn't see. He would never come out and tell you that but he showed it in a lot of different ways...

"I'm not beyond fear. I'm fearful about death. Everything that you ever wanted to do just goes up in smoke. The idea of being put in the ground or put under the ground is frightening. Most people don't want to talk about it... But I've decided to change my way of thinking. What they're telling me is not acceptible to me. I've got a tumor and it's cancer. And that's it. But I'm thinking that whatever you are thinking can come true. If it's not a selfish thought. I lean heavily on G-d now. I wasn't always like this. There isn't anything I have to be afraid of. Love is the answer. And the way to get there is by trying to find good in someone you don't necessarily like. Prayer can't be selfish. You don't pray for a yacht or money--you work hard if you want those things. But if you pray for unselfish things...

"And if you're looking for an answer, just ask. You'll get the answer if the question is worthy of an answer."