Tuesday, July 12, 2011

My Silence

After Gene died, it seemed like a hundred other horrible things happened in rapid succession. But at 50 I am no longer inclined to list them.

Neither am I writing at the moment. I am reading extraordinary letters by an extraordinary man who left this world in 1996 and that seems to be enough. I am genuinely considering an exit from any sort of public life, including publishing.

I remain in touch with my friends--with sensei Richard Lenchus, Paty Cockrum, my pal Harlan, and with several writers, artists and musicians whose work and whose nature (like Michael Netzer, Richard Manitoba, Peppi Marchello, Steve Forbert and Don McGregor) are uplifting and make one proud to be part of the same species, though others work endlessly to cast shame on the lot. I am devastated about this missing child in Brooklyn.

I will be 50 and a half next month. I am back to counting half birthdays like a child. I'm not sure if I will ever seek to publish fiction again. It really wasn't fiction anyway. And the death of the book in America calls for a certain reverence by those of us who care enough to be reverent.


Ed Zarger said...

I thought you'd been uncharacteristically quiet. (Not that I've known you that long or deeply.)
Sorry to hear about the horrible things happening to you. In my experience, as soon as I start complaining about my lot in life, I'm immediately shown someone far worse off than I. So I do my best not to complain, or I regret it.
Your path in life is (sort of) yours to choose, of course. You mention a sensei you know, so I'll call on my experience from karate. After a really draining evening of karate, I made it a rule NOT to make any life-changing decisions until I'd recovered some. You may be in the same boat with all your travails (or you may actually be seeing more clearly now -- you'd be in a better position to know).
Just sharing a few thoughts, that may or may not be of help.

Elayne said...

I still count half-birthdays too. :)

When did the book die? And if so, why do I still have so many left to read?

Mike Pascale said...

Books aren't dead...I spent eight hours at Powell's Books in Portland and still didn't see half the store! While it's true that last year e-book sales overtook those of physical books, SOMEone still has to write 'em all!

Format shouldn't matter to the writer, only the reader and retailer. Keep writing. The world needs more creativity, not less.

What else are you gonna do for fun and expression--interpretive dance?



I was actually considering interpretive dance.


...or name dropping (for Elayne's sake).