Miss Me Yet?

Courtesy of Michelle Malkin's blog.

The Invincible Gene Colan

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You Don't Know What You've Got...

...Until You Lose It

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I update this blog once a week. Sometimes it's even good news. What're you waiting for?

The Quiet Passing of Eric Aryeh Mahr (1955-2010)

I was broken hearted to learn of the loss of my friend and colleague Eric Mahr. This was as fine a man as I have known--unassuming, straight, simple and kind; an ehrliche Yid whose passing has effected me more than I would have guessed.

I learned that Eric had left us from our mutual friend Michael Netzer, whose telling of the story makes it difficult to breath.

Eric and [his wife] Jody flew to Buffalo, NY, last week to attend the funeral of Jody’s father… and another one of Eric’s uncle. Eric was very close to both. Way too much sorrow and grief for one family, one man, to suffer at once. One funeral after the other. But Eric was almost done. Only one more eulogy for his uncle left to give. His heart, ripped into shreds, pressed on with love, grief, memories and praise. At the grave. Pressed on so hard that it couldn’t press on anymore. That’s when Eric collapsed. Giving the eulogy at his uncle’s grave. His heart. His soul. Collapsed at the grave...Way too much sorrow. (read more here)

Eric bridged many worlds--comics, Torah, publishing...many more. After moving to Israel from Buffalo, NY, he single-handedly established and maintained a comics-publishing niche for observant Jews. We spent time together at San Diego ComicCon and I later had the great merit to edit Balm in Gilead for his MW Publications. I recall Eric phoning from Israel in 2006 while small Israeli communities were under constant attack during the Second Lebanon War; he was deeply concerned and humbly asked if I'd contribute to a publishing project to help children who were living in shelters, having been made homeless by the bombs. This project meant so much to him. Everything he did meant so much to him.

Forgive me, my dear friend Eric, for not showing you the tremendous respect in this world that I'm sure you'll find in the next.

It's A Lie. Paul Isn't Dead.

The first celebrity I recall hearing a rumor about was Paul McCartney. Paul was dead. Worse, the rest of the Beatles were covering it up. Paul had been replaced with a look-alike named Billy Shears. John Lennon had slipped in the clue “I buried Paul” at the end of “Strawberry Fields Forever”. There were clues everywhere. But it wasn't true.

I suspect the story hurt some real people in McCartney’s life, not just insipid groupies hoping to land Sir Paul—but at the end of the day no real harm was done. The rumors of Paul’s death had been greatly exaggerated. If anything, perhaps another few million LPs were sold.

This isn’t the case with the rumor mill today. Yusuf Islam (the musician formerly known as Cat Stevens) gets accused of supporting terrorism by an understandably freaked out public who, following September 11, were just coming to terms with the clear and present danger of Islamic fundamentalism. It didn’t matter that everything this musician stood for to that point of his life was rooted in art and humanitarianism; John Q Public had a celebrity it could burn at the stake. The result: Yusuf was denied access to the United States.

It used to be the broad brush of communism that celebrities got painted with. The Hollywood Blacklist, which expanded into the entertainment blacklist, deprived livelihoods to scores of actors, writers, directors and musicians after initially targeting screen heroes like Jimmy Cagney and Humphrey Bogart. Good folks were denied employment not necessarily because of their political beliefs or associations, but because of suspicion.

Today, the rules have changed. Socialists are awarded professorships at Harvard and radio talk shows and seats in Congress.

Want to hurt a celebrity now? Paint him gay. And do it on the internet.

New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez saw this happen not long ago. More damaging in many ways than his steroids admission was that photoshot in Details which heralded speculation that the star infielder must be a corncob cowboy. Comments on sports websites like Deadspin concluded that because A-Rod was pictured kissing himself in a mirror: "A-Rod would very much enjoy a copy of Details magazine up the wazoo" and "they followed him to the abandoned shack that he goes to to have sex with strange and diseased men." ESPN writer LZ Granderson attributed the attitude to fan jealousy and homophobia. I disagree. It’s jealousy and homopolitics. It’s the new gay agenda.

For some gays, it’s not enough to demand equal rights. There's a nagging insistance that everyone’s a member of their party. That’s why when someone like boxer Hasim Rahman offhandedly accused opponent Lennox Lewis of using “gay moves,” the one-percenters built a rumor and ran it up the fagpole.

The truth behind most gay rumors is that they are rarely true. Like the communist accusations during the Red Scare, these rumors serve not-so-well-hidden agendas: those of the rumor starter and the minority lobby who benefit from spreading it. Someone—an enemy most likely, a female most likely—planted one of these rumors in the virtual locker of Pittsburgh Steelers’ quarterback Kordell Stewart in 1999. Imagine Stewart’s chagrin being forced to confront his teammates—as he did in a private—with “You'd better not leave your girlfriends around me, because I'm out to prove a point.”

Remember when someone targeted Met’s catcher Mike Piazza? There’s no question in my mind that the fag tag lost our power hitter some serious money in endorsements that year. Perhaps for the rest of his career. Who was behind that rumor? Follow the money.

Following his 1991 disclosure of his HIV status, Magic Johnson had to appear on the Arsenio Hall Show to tell Hall (and the audience), “I'm far from being homosexual. You know that, everybody else who's close to me understands that.” Johnson’s career was coming to a close; his endorsements certainly weren’t coming in after the AIDS story. Why deny being gay? Because it wasn’t true! And no one wants to be accused of that if it’s not true.

It’s not a crime to be a Muslim either. But how quick was our president to deny that story?

Which brings me to Ovie Mughelli. As I recently noted, some skunk with an agenda and no sense of decency just went after the Atlanta Falcon’s fullback claiming to be Ovie’s ex-lover. Where did he do his outing? On the website of a no-name blogger (who can barely string sentences together) with her own clear agenda. The next thing you know, it’s a running wildfire on the Black Gay Chat boards and blogs because they have an agenda, too. No validation. No proof. But they treat it like gospel.

Ovie says it’s not true. And he has a daughter. And the women he dates are smoking hot.

Will the rumor cost Ovie endorsement deals? Definitely maybe. But as Meyer Lansky pointed out, “When a man loses his money, he loses nothing; when he loses his character, he loses everything.” That in mind, I was heartened that Ovie didn’t take the bait, didn't dignify the rumor with a dramatic response. He shrugged and said sorry--you've got the wrong man. As I see it, #34 is a class act.

Others see it, too, apparently. Pine Crest School’s students just awarded their first-ever Earthman’s Pro Football Eco Player of the Year award to Ovie. The replica of the football is being made with recycled glass fused in a kiln and mounted on recycled wood. “Atlanta Falcons fullback Ovie Mughelli is teaching youngsters the importance of caring for the planet,” said a spokesperson for The Earthman Project, a nonprofit founded by Lanny Smith, the 2006-2007 North American Environmental Educator of the Year. Ovie’s own foundation works with environmental leaders to develop football camps, green speaking events and eco-challenges that educate 8- to 17-year-olds.

As my friend Kurt Vonnegut noted in “The Unicorn Trap,” life comes down to a singular struggle: It’s the wreckers against the builders. There’s the whole story of life!

And Paul still isn't dead.

Orphans Successful

No injuries. No arrests. Even Hank Magitz had nothing to complain about when all was said and done last night at The Black River Barn in Randolph, NJ, where the Orphans reunited for the first time in more than two decades. Pictured below: lead guitartist Rich Grunes looking guilty, as usual.

My Sensei's Tougher That Your Sensei

Hanshi Richard Lenchus, founder of The Legend (a hybrid Shotokan system) wrote to his blackbelts this morning:

Learning 22 katas doesn't mean anything if you can't do one well, but I have this problem of loving to teach even things I don't know well, as you all know. I think you all should go to Staten Island at least once a week to be polished up... Here are the katas I have taught you all:

Heian Shodan
Heian Nidan
Heian Sandan
Heian Yondan
Heian Godan
Tekki Sho
Tekki Ni
Empi
Chinte
Kanku Sho
Kanku Dai
Bassi Sho
Bassi Dai
Jion
Elbow Kata
Sepai (goju kata)

In Vermont we also did:
Jutte
Gojushiho Sho
Gojushiho Dai
Gangaku
Mask 1
Mask 2
Earth
Wind
Bo kata Evening Storm

We must review all before we go on to:
Nijushiho Sho
Nijushiho Dai
Tekki San
Kurumfa
Tensho
Seiochin
Unsu
Seiza

Orphans Reunion Tonight!

The Orphans, those late-1980’s post-garage-rock wunderkinder hailing from Rockaway, New Jersey and Parts Unknown, will be reprising their frenetic pop-Rockaway-rock experience tonight only at The Black River Barn in Randoph, New Jersey. Fronted by Hank Magitz (vocals, rhythm guitar) and Jim Reeber (vocals, keyboards) and featuring Rich “what are the chords?” Grunes on lead guitar, the Orphans last appearance was at CBGB’s in 1989.

Rumor has it that Moshe “Tok Sho” Morgenstern, an original member of the flab four, will be sitting in on bass. “It wouldn’t be the same without Morganstern—we'd be in tune,” quipped Magitz in a rare phone interview this morning from his home in Parts Unknown.

“We expect all of our fans to turn out for this long-awaited event,” said Reeber, who has spent the last two decades fronting New Jersey’s Own Hoi Polloi. “We’ve reserved a table in the back for them.”

The Orphans disbanded in 1989, shortly after their fabled CBGB’s appearance, when Morganstern elected to pursue a solo career, which led to the hideous state of unemployment he now finds himself in. “If you’re not willing to die for your art, or at least kill for it, you’re just another gut worm,” said a bitter Magitz to Rolling Stone at the time of the band’s breakup. Magitz, who refused to revisit the bitter momment in this morning's brief interview, has a new book that will be available in March.

The Orphans will be taking the stage tonight after 10:30. Everyone should be good and drunk by then.

Books for Sale: The Meth Library

This post will be updated regularly as I add new books.

Many of my books are now out of print. I have author's copies of each of the following. If you'd like one or more, email me at cliffmeth@aol.com. Also, let me know if you want books signed or personalized.

Books written by Clifford Meth:
Billboards (IDW Publishing, 2009) - hardcover - $15

This Bastard Planet (Aardwolf Publishing, 1996) Cover by Joe Linsner - TPB $8

Conflicts of Disinterest (Aardwolf Publishing, 2004) TPB $10

Crawling From the Wreckage (Aardwolf Publishing, 1998) Cover by Joe Kubert - TPB -$10
god's 15 Minutes (Aardwolf Publishing, 2004) Cover by Wm. Michael Kaluta, afterword by Harlan Ellison - 244-pg. hardcover $35

god's 15 Minutes (Aardwolf Publishing, 2004) - Trade paperback of above - $22

Aardwolf #1 (rare comic from Aardwolf Publishing, 1994) - Cover by Gray Morrow and art by Dave Cockrum. Contains two Meth stories. Signed by Gray Morrow, Dave Cockrum & Clifford Meth. - $6

Snaked #1-3 (comic series from IDW Publishing, 2008) - Cover by Ash Wood, art by Rufus Dayglo, story by Clifford Meth; full series (all three comics) $12

Edited by Clifford Meth:
Strange Kaddish (Aardwolf Publishing, 1996) Stories from Harlan Ellison, Neil Gaiman, Clifford Meth, Bill Messner-Loebs, others; art by Gray Morrow, Dave Cockrum, Nelson deCastro, Mike Pascale - $10

Stranger Kaddish (Aardwolf Publishing, 1997) Stories from Harlan Ellison, Neil Gaiman, Clifford Meth, Peter David, Bill Messner-Loebs, Mike Pascale, Ilan Stavans and Walter Cummins; art by Bill Messner-Loebs, Janet Aulisio, Paty Cockrum; cover by Dave Cockrum - $12

The Dave Cockrum Benefit Auction Catalog (Heritage Auctions, 2004) - $5.00

Lori by Robert Bloch (IDW Publishing, 2009) - $12.00

Heroes and Villians (Two Morrows, 2005) The ltd. edition William Messner-Loebs benefit sketchbook, with cover art by Neal Adams and contributions from John Cassaday, Dave Cockrum, Gene Colan, Alan Davis, Adam and Andy Kubert, Joe Kubert, Joe Quesada, John Romita Jr. and Walt Simonson... and essays by Clifford Meth and Neil Gaiman - $25

Other books worth having in your library:

Whirlwind: Stories and Art by Dave Cockrum (Aardwolf Publishing, 1997) Ltd. edition; cover by Marie Severin, introduction by Chris Claremont. - $10

Kelly Freas Covers Meth

My new book is finally being solicited. And it features a cover by the sensational Kelly Freas art by Mike Henderson, a foreword by Bob Duggan, an introduction by punk-rock legend Richard "Handsome Dick" Manitoba and an afterword by the brilliant Avram Davidson. And Aardwolf Publishing is offering it with a money-back-if-not-delighted guarantee. How's that for confidence?

Order it here.

Tag: You're a Fag

Joe Louis never went through this. Neither did Jackie Robinson. But apparently you haven’t made it as a Black athlete today until you’re accused of being gay.

Some scumbag with an agenda or a vendetta or just out to shake things up comes along and says, “Tag: You’re gay,” and he says it on the internet and boom, that’s it—there goes a man’s reputation. At least for a week. As Harlan Ellison once quipped to me, the internet is the greatest villain of the 21st Century because it makes all information suspect.

This just happened to Atlanta Falcon’s fullback Ovie Mughelli. A nameless maggot pops up out of the dirt and tags the big man with the stigma just to hurt this football pro’s rep and before you know it, it’s a running wildfire on the Black Gay Chat boards and a few celeb-wanna-be gossip blogs. Why? Because people without real lives—the sycophants and bottom-feeders—to say nothing of those with a must-politicize-my-perversion agenda—are willing to take any goddamn piece of gross gossip without validation or proof and run it up the fagpole… er flagpole.

Face it home boys: The worst thing you can call a Black athlete is gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with it, hahaha.

Fortunately, big Ovie didn’t take the bait, didn’t dignify the no-name who allegedly “outed him”. I suspect he’s too busy with the ladies to pay it any mind. Reminds me of a joke about the Pope.

Bottom line: If you believe half the things people say about your favorite athletes, you’re a bigger fool than the people saying it. I just listened to Ovie’s agent, Todd France, brush the whole thing off on 790 the Zone. No big deal, said France. Just another day in the life of an agent. But this small voice is sick of internet graffiti.

Photo of Ovie Mughelli. If this is gay, sign me up!

Gene Colan on the Flap

Here's the flap copy (below) for The Invincible Gene Colan. If you didn't order this yet you're not as smart as you think you are. Get a signed/numbered one here.

For 65 years, Gene Colan has been a mainstay of the comic book industry. He is easily one of comicdom’s five most important artists. You can name the other four.

Born in the Bronx in 1926, Colan began drawing at the tender age of three then launched his professional career at the legendary Fiction House in 1944. Following a two-year stint with the U.S. Army Air Corps during World War II, Colan returned to full-time illustration work for Marvel Comics’ precursor Timely Comics then spent the majority of his career at Marvel until announcing his semi-retirement in 2008 (at the age of 82).

At one point or another, Colan worked on nearly every major Marvel character, but his defining work on such books as Daredevil, Iron Man, Dr. Strange, Howard the Duck and Tomb of Dracula set industry standards that could not be denied. Beloved by fans and pros alike, Colan was finally inducted into the Will Eisner Comic Book Hall of Fame in 2005 and is now recognized as one of the industry’s most influential pioneers.

But all of these words mean nothing. Open this book. Gene Colan’s magnificent art says it all.

THE INVINCIBLE GENE COLAN is a moving visual biography of Gene Colan’s Marvel career and most memorable work. Comics culture’s leading luminaries—from Stan Lee to Neil Gaiman—lend analysis and insight to Colan’s inimitable, captivating work. Edited by author and comics historian Clifford Meth, THE INVINCIBLE GENE COLAN is a stunning, long-overdue tribute to Gene “The Dean” Colan, Marvel’s one and only Iron Horse.

JR Weighs In on Celebrity Extortion

JR--front man of The Septimus Orion Project (and formerly of NJ's legendary horror-punk act Rosemary's Babies) offers us some ideas on how to treat celeb-sucking bottom feeders:

Extorting celebrities seems to me to be an offensive act of desperation. It is an attack on individuals who usually do nothing more than entertain the public. Committing that evil sin brings them healthy paychecks, and the envy of many. As horrific as it is in itself, it seems to me to be even more insidious on a deeper level.

I think of it as an attack on a system that permits financial gain based on personal achievement. Value exchange is a fundamental component of the free market. Someone develops their talent and skill, then provides what others want. When creepy slime balls rise up to loot the earnings of celebrities, they are looting the riches built upon individual freedom. They are exploiting a system that enables the self-made, the entrepreneur. Extortionists are barren thieves whose actions undermine those aspects of our lives that give us hope. Moreover, their selfish, stupid acts are based on the fact that great things are achieved by imperfect human beings. As such, the extortionist wants us to be ashamed of our humanity, and despises a world where others can act where they themselves are impotent. They detest those who rise despite their flaws. They want not only to steal money, they want to steal glory, attention and power.

I have a suggestion. Jail time is not always the best answer to a crime, so lets get creative. Since greed is a human failing, let's mete out justice based on that fact. I think extortionists should be stripped of their rights, rendered incapable of working in their chosen fields, or even of getting menial jobs. They should be made slaves, working for food and shelter only. This way, they can know what it is like to suffer for being human. --JR

Celebrity Muggings

The Tiger Woods hoopla seems to have died out since I last mentioned it but in retrospect 2009 turned out to be a great year for selling celebrity secrets. John Travolta and David Letterman come to mind. Cindy Crawford. Why do I think Michael Jackson’s death had something to do with one?

I would like to have written Letterman’s monologue where he described his sexual liaisons with staffers. Kurt Vonnegut would’ve done a brilliant job with Bill Clinton’s, no? But that's besides the point. The point? Most of the crap you run into on celeb gossip pages is meant to cut a stream into someone else's business. It’s the deep-pockets theory, folks, as in these people have them. So some ratbastard holds a gun to their heads and attempts to tap the exchequer. Extortion is a constant threat to the rich and famous. Heavy lies the head that wears the crown.

And for every extortion case you hear about, there’s ten you don’t, according to an article I recently read. In the Travolta, Letterman and Crawford cases, the attempts to squeeze money resulted in criminal charges. Of course, I prefer the way Bobby Blake handled the ho who tried to extort him. Allegedly handled. And you can take dat to da bank.

Ian Anderson / Jethro Tull - Speaks Out

I am transcribing a new Interview with Ian Anderson. In the mean time, here's a look back:

Meth: The last time we spoke was backstage at The Meadowlands in New Jersey as we watched the Berlin Wall coming down on a monitor.

Anderson: I remember it well. Our German Tour manager broke down and cried when he heard the news and saw it on Television. Over here [in Germany] Mikhail Gorbachev appeared on a TV show that I also did a few months back and he got a standing ovation for five minutes on prime-time Saturday night TV. They don't let the audience applaud that long unless it's someone somewhere a little upscale from the Pope in people's love and admiration. He set in motion all these things and it was a momentous day. And now here I am in Germany on tour with a somewhat beleaguered economy as a result of paying for the old Eastern German integration into the German economy, but even now people still have a very big... Anyone over the age of 15 will remember those breaking news captions.

Meth: While we're on geo-politics, most pop musicians have come out strongly against the U.S. and U.K.'s War in Iraq. What's your position on the subject?

Anderson: I don't know. It's difficult to have an opinion that is clear cut about an issue as complex as this. I was having a discussion with a German friend in Germany two nights before the U.K. and U.S. attacked Iraq, and I was saying that if they go through with this, this will be years and years to come of a commitment from the U.K., U.S., and whoever else is foolish to go along with it. This is taking the lid off of a very dangerous country. And whether you like it or not, the evil Sadam Husein is the guy who kept that lid on and kept Iraq essentially free from being what it is now, which is a state that is fostering the most violent terrorism currently on the planet--at least most frequently violent in the sense that the number of deaths of American soldiers is over 1,000; the number of on-going casualties this week was 50 people. And that's just another day in Baghdad. This is not something that will get a quick fix on January 30 any more than when Afghanistan voted in, this morning, the man in the green cloak, who seems a perfectly reasonable chap, but there is no way he is in control of Afghanistan, let alone the enormous increase in opium and therefore heroin production that has occurred since Afghanistan was so-called "liberated."

It's all good and well playing with the ideas of democracy, but life ain't that simple. Whereas I don't think I can be one of those people who is saying I think the U.S. should pull out of Iraq--or the U.K. or any of the so-called coalition, which amounts to a few hundred other people (laughs). Far and away the U.S. is bearing the brunt of this and will do for years to come. I'm talking about the poor, old people who will have to fund the tens of billions that this will continue to cost the U.S.

Steve Englehart - Max August Lives Again

Received the following letter from SF and comics writer Steve Englehart. I will soon be interviewing Steve, whose work I've admired since boyhood, for this blog and others. Stay tuned:

The Point Man, the first book in the Max August series, will be on sale March 2, and The Long Man, the second book, will be out on March 16, two weeks later. The Point Man is a reissue of a book that came out in 1981.... I've made very slight changes to it, all based around one simple fact: the first time around, Max was 33 years old in 1980, when the story takes place. When I got the idea to make Max timeless and watch him live through time, starting in 1980, I thought it would be easier to do keep track of his life if he were to do it in round numbers. So for the new edition, I made him 30 in 1980. He was, then, 35 in 1985, when he became immortal--and he's been 35 ever since, as we shall see. Everything else about the book has stayed the same. It still takes place between Christmas and New Year's 1980--a point I must make so you don't wander in blind and wonder why Max is the king of AM radio, or what AM radio is. It still involves a normal guy who stumbles into a world he, like most people, has no idea exists. Many books, when republished, are "brought up to date," but that's exactly what I didn't want to do--couldn't do--with The Point Man. Each book in the series, including that one, is a snapshot of its time. Max doesn't change, physically, but the world around him does, and quite a bit. Welcome to the life of an immortal man. Well, it turns out that immortality is more complex than it might appear. The Long Man is set at Halloween 2007, and Max, as noted, stopped aging in 1985, but his life has gotten more and more bizarre in the two decades since then. One obvious thing is that most--but not all--of the people he knew in 1980 are either much older than he is or gone altogether. His familiarity with the hidden world has changed a lot, thanks to what he learned in The Point Man and nearly thirty years of first-hand experience. And the faces of evil have changed as well. I'm not going to say any more than that right now, since--if you haven't read The Point Man, or read it lately--I don't want to give stuff away. Then will come The Plain Man, set at Midsummer 2009...but that's literally a story for another time.

Harlan Ellison's Phone Number

Some yutz searched my blog today for Harlan Ellison's phone number (as if I would list it; you people are getting dumber). I know this because I use Google analytics (which reminds me that my Google stock is up nearly 90% over the last 12 months; bought it when the rest of you panicked in '08; I'm getting smarter). Anyway, I took this as a sign from above to call my old friend.

What did we talk about? None of your business. But I'll tell you this: Having a pal like Harlan to call from time to time is one of the gifts from above. Some of you only have me.

60% Off Dave Cockrum's Personal Golden-Age Blackhawk Comics Collection

Dave's favorite title. And he had all of them.

Proceeds benefit Dave Cockrum's widow. And these prices are sensational. Have a look.

Dave Cockrum Collection - Half Price Sale

Tonight, Dec. 26, only -- half off any comics from Dave Cockrum's personal collection. Serious chance to own a piece of history cheap! Click here.

Original Gene Colan Sketches...Going Fast

Aardwolf Publishing reports that the Lettered Edition of THE INVINCIBLE GENE COLAN is sold out but you can still order one of the Ltd. Numbered Bookplate editions -- these come with unique original sketches from Gene Colan. And, as you can see, they are exquisite. Don't be dopey and miss out on this opportunity. Click here for more details.

My New Book

Times are tough, yes, but we must keep reading and reading real writers or we are no better than the people who ruined this country, poisoned the planet, and failed to save rock & roll.

Please order my new book directly from me. It will put the maximum dollars per sale in my pocket. And I need that at this moment in time.

Free Meth

Get alerts when I update (which, let's face it, is hardly ever). It's free. Click here.

And Then The Locusts

A brief note.

I am still recovering from a kidney infection and brush with pneumonia. My stent was removed Friday and three hours later I was beset by bladder spasms, which caused fever and agony to rival the kidney stones. Thank G-d for Codine; I ate three-times my prescribed dosage. It was either that or a 9-mm bullet.

This evening, I began urinating baby blue, a side effect of the Prosed TM I find this curious after seven days of urinating, exclusively, crimson (and the 48 years prior of, exclusively, yellow).

The Levaquin TM continues to turn my stomach to puree of bat feces.

My oldest son tells me to eat yogurt. He says this while drinking beer.

Kelley, an old friend, keeps sending me smart-ass text messages, reminding me that it could be worse--after all, there's a new collection out from my old friend Kurt Vonnegut and in another time and place there will be government regulated fiction.

And tomorrow, the locusts.

Stone Free

It is a statement of these parlous, Tofleresque times that, following my recent medical episode, I would forgo phone calls and reach back out to my many well-wishers through this web log in conjunction with the pop-tech of Twitter. (These days, I suspect, a woman no longer responds to a would-be paramour with “I’d rather be friends”—she rebuffs the invitation to cyber with the stranger incantation “I’d rather be FaceBook friends.” But enough e-Freud for one evening).

I have been through an ordeal that might not be fairly compared to Senator John McCain’s stay at the Hanoi Hilton, but it was miserable, I assure you—the worst physical pain I’ve dealt with, and that includes blowing out an ACL, tearing my meniscus, a chronic swollen lumbar-3, and that working over I saw my brother Dave administer to that arrogant fool who thought it wise to rob Clobbering Time, my Union, N.J., comics shop in 1990.

You go to the hospital with one thing, you come home with two. I felt a pain in my stomach on the eve of Wednesday, December 9, which promptly woke me. When I noticed that I was pissing blood, I grew concerned. A stone, said Chantzie. How do you know? I asked. It seems like a stone.

Soon the pain moved around to my right side. And then there was no right side—only pain. By 1:35 am I had checked into the Emergency Room at Saint Claire’s Hospital in Denville, N.J. They couldn’t get me a vomit bag fast enough.

“What’s wrong?” asked the triage receptionist?

“I’m dying,” I cried, dying. “And pissing blood.”

“It’s peeing blood,” she replied. (Pay heed, my friends, to the future voice of nationalized health care).

Despite Ms. Charmschool's semantics lessons, I was admitted shortly thereafter and shot full of meds via an IV in my left arm. This eventually made most of the pain and nausea subside. And then, three hours later, I was sent packing, with three prescriptions to fill and a hearty good luck. I was told I’d be better off passing the stone myself in the comfort of my home. Hard to argue with that.

I fell asleep that morning at around 4:45 am. By 6:45 that morning I was back in the ER. This time, a urologist saw me, though not until the next morning (Friday, December 11, my daughter’s 2nd birthday, for all that was worth). At this juncture, I was given a choice:

“We can go get the stone,” said the man, a nice man, a smart man, a doctor, “or I can give you meds and you can go home and try to pass it. You’re better off passing it yourself—it’s not invasive and there’s less chance of complication. Your stone is only 2-mm big—should pass easy. The CAT scan says it’s almost there now.”

I called my brother Dave and said, “Come get me.”

Dave had had one of these stones before. “How you holding up?” he asked as I climbed into his car.

“Worst pain I've ever had,” I said.

“But you haven’t blown it out your crank yet?”

I shook my head.

“Well,” he said, that Marine Corp. smile locked and loaded, “then you ain’t seen nothing yet.”

I was in my house hugging my children by 3:30 pm.

At 10:15 pm, I was back in the ER.

I’ll skip the other details for now. I’m just too exhausted to write anymore. It ends with the doctor doing an emergency procedure, fishing out a calcium stone with a “hook” on the end of the stone (see picture); the stone had nested in my kidney and wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon, if ever. The puss around my kidney was alarming, too, said the urologist. “Good thing we got it when we did.” You're telling me.

In addition to the kidney infection that I'm now dealing with, I developed what’s known as hospital pneumonia. Was it from lying around for days or aspirating some of the anesthesia? No one can say for sure and, if they can, they’re not saying it to me.

Regardless: I am grateful.

I am grateful to be alive and back with my children once again. I’ve been home since early this evening. I think I missed the entire one-year anniversary of the confession of Bernie Madoff. I didn’t miss it at all. And I see you’ve all tallied up another half-dozen Tiger Woods’ mistresses. You go to the PGA Tournament with one thing and come home with 12 more.

I am grateful to be beyond the pain, if you don’t count that burning sensation I get every time I pee cherry juice (the likeness is exact!) This relative discomfort is a welcome gift compared with the death knell of an infected kidney.

I am grateful to those of you who reached out to me and offered small comfort, and sorry that I didn't return most calls or texts. Even now. My suffering was immense and my exhaustion is genuine.

Did I learn anything? You bet. I phoned my ex-wife of 12 years and begged for her forgiveness for anything I did pre- or post our divorce (“Cliff—We’ve been all through that! We’re friends now!” “I just need to hear it Staci,” I said with tear-filled eyes). And I called each big child to tell them I was proud of them and that no matter what happens (because you go to the hospital with one thing and come home—if you come home—with seventy-two). And I decided to maybe, just a little bit, let loose of some grudges in my anxiety closet that have grown beards and put in for pension plans. Life, as they say, is too short.

In all, it was the best Chanukah (with a “cha”) present I’ve ever received.

Speaking of Chanukah: Seeing the electric menorah in my room, which one kind soul was thoughtful enough to deliver, one nurse—noting my learned demeanor—asked me if there was a difference between orthodox and acidic Jews. “It depends upon the Jew’s ph balance,” I assured her.

Another woman, a Jew from Parsippany, asked if it was true that observant Jews don’t believe in Israel. “Yes, that it so,” I explained. “We believe that Israel is a hoax invented by the goyim to trap the Jews they didn’t get during the Holocaust—that it’s really a great hole in the map and if you attempt to go there, your vessel will fall off the face of the earth.” She looked at me aghast.

“So,” I added, “when does your flight leave?”

Bru-Hed Joins First Wave On Kindle

This news just in on one of the better cartoonists still tromping about in the comics industry, my pal Mike Pascale:

Traditional comic books have finally joined the thousands of books available on Amazon's popular Kindle e-reader. However, the largest players, Marvel and DC (publishers of Spider-Man and Batman, respectively), are so far nowhere to be found. Instead, readers can find a small selection of alternative publisher fare, a few even produced by a single individual rather than the usual "assembly line" of mainstream comics.

One such comic that just became available is Bru-Hed's Guide to Gettin' Girls Now! by Mike Pascale and his Schism Comics imprint, celebrating its 10th anniversary of last publication. The comedic B&W, 28-page (including covers) comic books, first published in paper form in 1997 (volume 1) and 1999 (volume 2), are now uploadable to the Kindle for a fraction of their original $2.50 cover price.

"This was a no-brainer," explains writer-artist Mike Pascale. "I was alerted to the possibility by Pete Bickford of the dominant online comic-book marketplace Atomicavenue.com, who educated me about the format and inherent opportunity. Since the big mainstream publishers' titles are in color, they're probably waiting for a color version of the Kindle. But for independent black-and-white comic creators like myself, this is an ideal way to get my characters and comics to the masses on a level playing field at an affordable price."

The "e-comic" features various single- and multi-page gags showing the big-headed, beer-drinking sexist Bru-Hed offering advice on picking up women, which often lands him in various stages of trouble. The character appeared briefly on MTV, the Sci-Fi Channel, and The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. Contact Mike at mikep@tvboardz.com

Who Wants To Be A Comic Book Artist?

Courtesy of Adam Kubert, here's some photos from last year's (May '08) scholarship presentations at The Joe Kubert School for Cartoon & Graphic Art. I was honored with awarding the Dave & Paty Cockrum Scholarship to second-year student Ian Ayala and am pictured here with living legend Joe Kubert who thanks me for wearing a blue shirt.

The scholarship is funded by sales from Dave Cockrum's personal comics collection.

Dave Cockrum Estate Blowout

Dave Cockrum's personal collection of comics are now 35% off. Have a look.

Didja hear the one about the Italian, the Irishman and the Jew?

At WDHA studio with Pat DiNizio (the Smithereens) and radio's Jim Monaghan. Pat & Jim did a few Buddy Holly numbers.

The Smithereens will be rocking The Morristown Community Theater this Saturday night. The Jew is skipping the fights to go see them.

The Smithereens, Live in Morristown

It's only one of the best garage bands you'll ever see. And Mr. Meth will be there. Do yourself a favor and catch The Smithereens performing their hits like “A Girl Like You,” “Only a Memory,” “Blood and Roses” and “Behind the Wall of Sleep” this Saturday night in Morristown, NJ.

Click here for more information.

At 46, Randy Couture Will Clean Your Clock

At 46, Randy Couture (17-10) is still the best, classiest, most important fighter in the game. Following a brief stint in the heavyweight queue, he returned to the light heavyweight division tonight and scored a decision over Brandon "The Truth" Vera (11-4) by a unanimous 29-28 in the UFC's main event. Couture's grappling style beat the younger, bigger, better striker.

"I controlled the tempo of the fight," said Randy. "It probably wasn't the most exciting thing to watch, but Brandon's dangerous; he kicked me twice in the body in the second and third rounds." You could see Randy was hurt, so he used his head, closed the gap, and won the fight.

Funakoshi Sensei wrote, "Karate-do without courtsey is not karate-do." Sadly, scumbags like Brock Lesnar and Tank Abbott are an embarassment to MMA.

At the other end of the spectrum, a gentleman and a warrior: Randy Couture.

Dave Cockrum's Personal Collection: Sale Continues...Books Added

If you haven't seen this collection yet, do yourself a favor: Here's a chance to own a piece of comic's history. And if you have visited, look again--more comics have been added--and more will be added later tonight, including file copies of Dave's.

The prices are right and will be further discounted if you purchase a handful... and the proceeds help his widow. Click here.

Free Meth

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Joe Jusko Weighs In On Marie Severin

Mentioning Marie Severin always seems to bring in the email. Everyone loves her and adored her art and was more than eager to participate in my stalled book (I have Stan Lee's foreword to the volume in my drawer gathering dust... for shame!)

Joe Jusko, the premiere painter of covers and cards, dropped me a note that shouldn't be buried in the fine print of comments:

Marie is an incredible talent and one of the nicest people I've ever met. She did the layout for my very first Marvel cover (which in my 18 year old arrogance I altered to a much weaker composition). To have the chance to do that over!

Marie, Wherefore Art Thou?

Marie Severin and I were still at the fairly early stages of her visual bio (text meets art portfolio) when, sadly, she took ill. Now she's harder to find than J.D. Salinger, so folks occasionally send me letters intended for her. Here's excerpts from a recent one (yes--I'll pass along the letter to her in its entirety):

Dear Mrs. Severin: Like a lot of other fans out there, I feel like I owe a debt of gratitude to you that I can never repay. I wasn't around when you were first drawing all the great issues that I've come to love. I didn't read all your issues of The Incredible Hulk 'til later on or know who to thank... At the time, I was a little kid with dirty knees reading much-loved copies of his dad's comics. Most of 'em were in pretty okay shape, but several were pretty shredded up after narrowly escaping a tornado in the 1970s... I didn't know growing up that it was your vision of these characters that did and still continue to thrill me and give me touchstones of happy times from my life as I grew up.
I think of all the work you've done, the stuff I got a kick out of the most was your work on Not Brand Echh... [It] remains a special memory to me of my childhood afternoons with my grandmother in the house my dad grew up in, reading his old comics... I'm constantly hoping that Marvel will release those stories as a nice hardcover in their Marvel Masterworks collection, or some other nice format. It's been way too long since fresh eyes have gotten to see those wonderfully silly stories.
I'll likely never meet you at a convention since I live in Jonesboro, Arkansas, and it isn't the vast metropolis it sounds like, so I'll never get a shot to thank you personally for your wonderful body of art. It saddens me that I won't get to shake your hand and look you in the eye with a dopey grin on my face and say thanks. This is the best I can do for now. But I have to thank you, all the same. All the journeys your stories have taken me on have given me many a happy moment reading and imagining. You're one of the maybe dozen people in your field that I can repeatedly re-read and re-read...knowing what'll happen when Hulk fights Sub-Mariner... or that Charlie America has a trashcan lid for a shield (of course!). And [on] the occasion when I find something by you I've never seen before, I'm thrilled that I get to see a whole new unearthed gem for the first time. You have such versatility in your work... zipping from humor to heroes to some stories that show how great a horror-feel you could have... Your moving, twisting, living characters practically make my own muscles stretch just by looking at them. You have continued and will continue to inspire and entertain people like me in all walk's of life by your herculean talent. I really do think that you're the greatest and I had to stop putting off writing this letter... Luckily I was put in touch with Clifford Meth who graciously offered to send this letter along to you for me... I dearly do hope you're enjoying your much-deserved retirement. For everything that you've done, some of which you may not realize you did, I just wanted to say thanks. --Matt S.

Neal Adams Remains Cutting Edge

Spoke briefly with my friend Neal Adams this morning. His Continuity Studios recently finished the first genuine motion comic for Marvel Entertainment. If there was ever a comics pioneer, it's Neal.

I took a gander at the Gifted Astonishing X-Men graphic novel on Neal's site. John Cassaday and Neal (who co-produced) take the concept of those old Jack Kirby "Merry Marvel Marching Society" cartoons I used to watch as a kid and put them on steroids. And LSD. Have a look.

Aardwolf Discounts The Invincible Gene Colan

Aardwolf Publishing reports that The Invincible Gene Colan remarqued editions are selling quickly. If you want one, better move on it.

Members of the Gene list (you know who you are) and readers of my blog can take an additional 10% discount off of the signed/numbered edition only. Send just $45 per copy via PayPal to sales@aardwolfpublishing.com (add another $5 for total shipping). Offer good this week only.

It's My Blog & I'll Cry If I Want To

Today, November 11, would have been Dave Cockrum's 66th birthday. Salute, old friend!

My Friend Dave Cockrum

I am home with fever and achy and miserable and spent most of the day under a blanket re-reading Bukowski and a book about mobsters. Then something made me pick up The Legion of Super-Heroes Archives Vol. 10. Published in 2000, the book opens with a genuinely wonderful foreword from my pal, Dave Cockrum, where Dave talks about his early career; how he ended up inking for Murphy Anderson and lucked onto a book like Superboy in the first place and what he was thinking and feeling and doing every panel of the way. It's a great story guest-starring Cary Bates and Neal Adams and Murray Boltinoff and Jim Warren a not a single note of ego. Not a peep of bravado. More a how-I-spent-my-summer-vacation by someone who loved life, loved comics, loved what he was doing and why... And then there were the comics with all those marvelous SF designs. Made me miss the hell out of him.

And then I decided to go back and re-read The Uncanny Dave Cockum and I missed Dave even more. The art is stunning, and then there's those memories from Dave's many peers... and the Harlan Ellison piece, which is milk-through-your-nose hysterical, and I so didn't want to laugh because my ribs hurt from fever... And then the end, that tragic end, and I hurt from crying.

He was one of a kind, that Dave. Just as sweet and funny and decent as they come.

Aardwolf Publishing is running a special on Dave's book right now. That's not why I wrote this, but you should know. If you don't have this book you should get one. Dave is worth spending time with--his art, the man, all of it. I'd pay good money to have my friend back again.

The Invincible Gene Colan...Order Now!

You're hearing it here first...

Marvel Entertainment will release my 128-pg. THE INVINCIBLE GENE COLAN in February, 2010, a visual biography of one of the most brilliant, sublime and influential comic artists in the history of the genre. Includes observations from Stan Lee, Roy Thomas, Neil Gaiman, Walter Simonson, Marv Wolfman, Tom Palmer, Steve Gerber, Tom Spurgeon and John Romita Sr., and beautiful, eye-popping art from the Shadow Master himself.

Aardwolf Publishing will have exclusive signed/numbered copies as well as an extremely limited double-lettered remarqued, book-plated edition (containing a unique Colan sketch). If you want one of these, I urge you to order it immediately. Here’ the details:

* Signed/numbered: $60 plus $5 shipping

* Double-lettered remarqued edition (contains Colan sketch; only 52 will be created): $140 plus $5 shipping

* Special offer: With any order, add another $15 and receive THE UNCANNY DAVE COCKRUM hardcover numbered edition ($40 retail value).

Make checks payable to Aardwolf Publishing and mail to: Aardwolf Publishing, 179-9 Rt. 46 West, Box 252, Rockaway, NJ 07866

Dave Cockrum Estate Offers 35% off DC Comics

Thanks to some (ahem) small efforts on my part, Paty Cockrum finally received her Marvel royalty check (it comes twice/year for Dave Cockrum's share in Nightcrawler) but I am still raising money to help her defray an unexpected tax bill. So today only we are offering DC Comics from The Estate of Dave Cockrum for 35% off. Click here.

Stan Lee Still Makes Me Smile

I turn 49 in just four short months, but I become a child again when I get a note like this one:

Hey, Cliff,

Even sight unseen-- thanx for your Stan Lee quotes in your Colan book.

I hope it's a best seller and Gene gets a lotta cash and you get a lotta cash and glory!

Excelsior, Mr. Biographer!

Stan

The Invincible Gene Colan is scheduled for release from Marvel Entertainment in February, 2010.

The Whorehouse Madrigals

Review copies of The Whorehouse Madrigals by Hank Magitz recently went out to selected writers and friends. Then I received this lovely note last night:

We're convinced that Clifford Meth is 1,000 years old at the very least. You step into the world of his fictional creations within the first paragraph of everything he's ever published; and his worlds are never ones we're familiar with...yet we are. It's the humanity, the truth of human nature he observes so keenly as to put Shakespeare on alert. We want to cry, even when the sadness is not overtly expressed, or bust out laughing, even though a moment is bitter. It's impossible to articulate why or how Cliff does this to his audience. It's impossible to know how he, in his one singular life, can so deeply know and express the lives of others... You marvel at his genius at turning a phrase and virtually creating new words by complimenting them and combining them with others, but he never fails to sweep me away and leave us humbled and awed by his talent."
--Gene & Adrienne Colan

CGC'd Silver Age Comics Added to Cockrum Estate Sale

CGC created the "Dave Cockrum Estate" pedigree specifically for this collection. Take a look here. And please contact me if you want three or more books--we are ready to deal. Paty Cockrum needs the money now. Let's help her.

Dave Cockrum's Garage Sale

She'll be annoyed at me for saying anything, but that's what are friends for: Paty Cockrum--Dave's widow and retired Marvel Comics Bullpen colorist and penciller (as Paty Greer)--had an unexpected tax bill courtesy of Uncle Sam that's more than she can handle at the moment. To help offset the burden, I'm lowering the already low prices on Dave Cockrum's personal comics collection, which I sell for the estate (proceeds typically benefit a scholarship at the Joe Kubert School; this time they benefit Paty).

Please click here to see what's for sale, make a list of the books you'd like, and drop me an email at cliffmeth@aol.com -- I'll make you an offer you can't refuse.

Best Caption Wins a Copy of My New Book

Something for Nothing

Stop fooling around and subscribe to this blog already. It's free. It's doesn't cost money. In fact, it saves money, if time is money. Perhaps time is trading stamps. Either way, you'll never have to check back again because you'll get an alert when I update this site. Isn't technology aces?

What will you find here? Bits about musicians, comics creators and entertainers I fancy or pal about with; news regarding projects I'm working on; an occassional, uncomfortable truth; tales of revenge; opportunities to buy art or comics at great prices while helping a creator down on their luck; occassional appearances or interviews with celeb friends like Harlan Ellison and Marv Wolfman and Herb Trimpe and Gene Colan and Marie Severin and Peter David and Walt Simonson and Jim Steranko and Jeff Jones and Bob Silverberg and Ian Anderson and Pat DiNizio and Steve Forbert and Peppi Marchello and Stan Lee and Roy Thomas and Handsome Dick Manitoba; occasional references to things you ought to know about but don't yet...

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Sick Again

If I've been cranky or unresponsive it's a combination of the flu (for days, apparantly) and an inner ear infection that the doctor told me I caught in the nick of time, but may still end up rupturing my eardrum. Just in time for the October Classics.